Pigeon impossible..

It was a sunny day and I noticed a man sitting on a bus bench, and he had a bagel in his hand. I was very hungry so I went over to the bench and tried to get him to share his bagel with me. I sat with him for a while and also noticed he had a brief case with him as well. Since he didn’t want to share the bagel I got into the brief case and noticed many bright and shiny colors so I decided I might start pushing them to see what would happen. Many different guns popped out and I began flying around in the brief case.  Then the man wanted to give me the bagel after he knew that I could push any and all buttons inside and one was for a missile so he thought he needed to act fast. The man tried to give me the bagel but I didn’t want to take it because I knew it was a trap. The man knocked me out of the way from the brief case and took it and he had it aimed towards the missile so he could go and stop the missile. I followed the man up into the sky towards the missile because he still had the bagel that I wanted. When we got closer to the missile the man dropped the bagel down towards the ground so I followed it so I could have it. After the man blew up the missile he landed safely back on the ground and he found me there and I was eating the bagel but I was also trying to pick it up and it was too heavy for me. The man looked at me and then up at the sky and then put on his sunglasses. As I was eating the bagel the rest of the missile that didn’t get blown up came down from the sky and…..(goodbye)

Can you imagine???

Can you imagine if cars were made of rubber? When I say rubber I mean like what pencil erasers are made of. It would be like bumper cars all the time. The rubber would have to be hard enough so it wouldn’t bounce you too far, but also soft enough to bounce. My thought is that if they are made of rubber maybe there wouldn’t be as many accidents, but I’m not really sure. The cars would have to be well tested before they could be sold of course, but I think after they were tested and everything got the thumbs up they would be so fun. The tires would be similar to what they are now just a little bit more of the softer side. The insides of the car would be like they are now unless someone created an engine that would not melt the rubber of the outside since the engine gets hot. It would take some great minds and experts to make this become a reality. I think it would help when 16 year olds go to get there license. They wouldn’t be so worried since the car is rubber. I’m still thinking bumper cars, and who wouldn’t want to ride in a bumper car all the time. Sounds super fun to me, and maybe someone might like this idea and go with it. Who knows, but I will keep on dreaming of rubber cars. Maybe it’s just me thinking this would be a neat and fun idea, and a great addition to cars.

I think winning the lottery would be great. I mean who wouldn’t want to win money? I myself play the scratcher games, but not a lot. I don’t spend more than $20.00 at a time. For me it’s just about scratching the tickets. I of course want to win money but I’m also realistic that I probably won’t win a lot. The most I’ve won is $100.00 off of a $5.00 ticket. That was exciting, and very shocking that I won that much. I saved it, and then the next time I won that much I went shopping a little with it. 

What if???

I wasn’t married

I was a boy

My dad and mom didn’t get divorced

I didn’t go to cosmetology school

I didn’t graduate high school

I were alone

Cars were made of rubber

Dogs could talk

            Divorce is not my favorite topic, but it is something that happens. I still remember the day that everything fell apart. I was 13 years old and had gone to my grandma’s afer school like I always did. Who knew that would be the day that changed everything. My mom came to picjk me up and she had fire and daggers in her eyes the second she opened the dooe to come in the house. She told me it was time to go so I told my grandma I would see her tomorrow but my mom said, “no you wont. “ I was very scared at that point, and what came next I don’t think I will ever forget. We went to our house which was maybe a block from my grandparents and after we got inside that’s when everything went crazy. There were stuffed animals flying, picture frames being smashed, and then a wedding dress being cut. Talk about nightmares happeneingn in the day time. I couldn’t believe what I was actually seeing, and I had no clue what was going on. I also remember the night my parents told me they were getting divorced. I couldn’t believe that what I thought a good marriage was, yet it was a lie. I asked many quesuions through all the tears and didn’t care for the answers, but then I got to the last one and barely was able to ask it. The question was , “Did I do something wrng?” Of course they said, “NO:. I just couldn’t grasp what was about to happen. At the time I couldn’t beliebe it, but now looking back it was for the best. I use to think what it would be like if they hadn’t gotten divorced and things hadn’t been awful. I don’t like doing the “what if” because everything happens for a reason, and I think two of the reasons are my wonderful step sisters.

Kindness

I feel that there aren’t a lot of kind people out in the world today. I remember growing up that when someone would say “Thank you”, I was taught to say, “You are welcome”. I feel like people in general don’t say those back or even to each other. Why is it so hard to be kind to someone? For me kindness is a “normal” thing. It’s rare if I don’t say, “please”, “thank you”, or “your welcome”.  It’s funny how sometimes after saying any of those I’ve been given strange looks almost like the person is asking me, “Why are you being so polite?”, and to me that’s just what you should say. I was told the saying, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” 

If I were invisible

                If I were invisible I would probably listen to conversations that are taking place. I sometimes want to know what people are talking about, but don’t want to have to respond. I sometimes just like being an ear. It can be sometimes a good thing to listen and sometimes bad because maybe you might hear things you don’t want to hear. I think of the expression to be a fly on the wall. There have been times where I know I’ve been the topic of discussion, and would like to know what’s being said and I know the person or persons won’t tell me so being invisible would help that

I believe list

·         My husband is a wonderful man

·         I am determined to reach my goals

·         My family can handle a lot of things

·         You have to work hard to get good grades

I believe my husband is a wonderful man. He is always doing things for others, always taking care of me, and just a joy to be around. If someone needs help, or needs something he will do whatever it takes to either get it for them or help them to get it for themselves. He doesn’t ask for anything in return he just does it. I know there aren’t many people that want or will help others and that’s kind of sad to me. I was working a job that didn’t “fit” me and he suggested I go to college. I wasn’t sure how I would do that and work a full time job. He then told me that while I was in school that I wouldn’t have to work at all if I didn’t want to. I couldn’t believe that he was saying this to me, and I was excited at the same time. I then thought long and hard about it and decided that he was right and that I should go to school. I made the decision with him and I quit my job and started school. 

Fabular

I think the biggest fabular in my life that I learned is how to manage money. I learned that you have to be smart and not get yourself into debt. I however at the age of 21 did get myself into trouble. I had a lot of credit cards and they were all at their limit. I also signed up for a car for the man I was living with. I was young and thought in love so I thought doing that was a good idea, and I know that it was not. It has taken me a little while to get my credit to a good place, because I had to file bankruptcy since the debt was too big to get out from under. I now know think that credit cards aren’t bad, but they can become that way if you don’t be careful. I only use them if I absolutely can’t pay cash or use my bank card. 

Love

I remember the day my now husband proposed to me because it was the day we had a birthday party for my dog Rocco. That day we went to my sister in laws house with a cake we had bought for Rocco, and my mother in law was there as well. Both my mother and sister in law had their dogs too, and we even put birthday party hats on all of them. Then it came time for presents, and my now husband had me open them. There were some toys, treats, a rawhide bone, and a really nice picture frame because we had just recently gotten Roccos picture taken and needed a nice frame. Then he brought another box and I started to open it and it was one of those boxes that had many different sizes inside it. I was beginning to get annoyed because of how light the box felt, and I kind of thought it was going to be empty. I was finally getting close to the end of the boxes, and noticed Ryan getting off the couch. When I got to the last box it was tiny, and it had a piece of paper in it. I looked up confused a little, and then I opened it and it said, “Will you marry me”, and it also had 3 boxes underneath it, and they said “yes”, “no”, and “maybe”. I turned around and Ryan was standing behind me with a beautiful ring. I think I was really shocked because I couldn’t believe it was finally going to happen. We had been together for 7 years, and I didn’t think we were going to ever get engaged. I of course said yes, and then I asked for something to mark the paper with. Then I finally looked and my mother and sister in law and just had this look of shock and excitement on my face, and they both came and gave me a hug.

            Will you marry me? That is such a wonderful question to be asked. I was with my husband for  ofr 7 years before he finaly asked me to marry him. I wasn’t sure it was going to happen, but I’m very glad it did. I love that he asked me t my diogs irthday party. It was such a fun time , and I’m so glad my mother and sister in law could be there to witness it. It was a perfect proposal becuaes I could tell how much thought was put into it. I love my dog very much so to have that memeory is so special to me. I  remember after saying yes I ran out into the backyard and didn’t know who to call first or what I was doing. I immediately called my dad first, and after he said congrats he then said “It’s about time.” That made me laugh a lot beaceuse I thought the same thing, but at least it finally happened. I then called my grandma and she was so happy, and she also said tht it was about time. Then we were going home and I called myfriend tottell her and she was so happy, and also said because she lost a family member that day, or was losing one. She tried not getting emotional but it was hard because on one hand she was hapy for me and the other she was sad fo the lose. Then when I got home I of course had to take a picture of my beautiful, shiny, and bright ring nnd share it with the world on facebook. I don’t know why that was so important but I did it. I was so excited to share with everyone my great news. I was still very shocled and excited the next day. I went out and bought a bridal magazine and started looking to get ideas. Then the fun of planning and picking things out wouls soon start and I was so ready for that. 

Fear and memories

I think everyone is afraid of something, and some have bigger fears than others. For me I have a fear of flying in an airplane. I have never flown before, but I am deathly afraid of doing it. I don’t honestly know where the fear comes from, maybe my fear of heights started it. I just know that I do not want to every get in a plan. Now that does put limits on vacations, but my wonderful husband drives to wherever we go. Last year we went to the Mall of America and he drove us there. The drive or ride I should say didn’t seem that long to me. I like to look at things and to enjoy the scenery around me. I know that my husband would much rather fly, but he doesn’t push me. I’m very lucky that he tries to understand even though he doesn’t really get it. I sometimes tell myself to get over it but then I realize it is my fear and no one can make me feel bad about it. I do get teased about it quite a bit, but I have learned to just let it roll off of me and not worry about what others think. That can sometimes be a challenge but I just try ignoring it or laugh it off. I remember growing up and my grandpa told me for my 16^th birthday he would take me to the Mall of America if I would get on a plan. The fear was there then because I didn’t go. So last year when I went it brought those memories back and that was great. I think holding memories helps when you lose someone you love and keeps them close to you in a sense.

            Some memories are good and some can be not so good. They can make the days better or really long I think. For example my grandpa passed away last January and I miss him every day, but I still have all my wonderful memories to help make it a little easier. It doesn’t take all the hurt away but it helps me to think about all the good times. I still talk to him and that helps even though I know he’s not physically here. A memory that sticks out is that he would pick me up every morning and take me to school when I was in junior high and we would get breakfast on the way and then not even a block from school I would have to stop and go to the bathroom. He would tell that story a lot and it was really funny and would always make me smile. He loved o tease me and that was ok with me. He used to say that if he didn’t love me he wouldn’t tease me. Our family likes to still joke and tease each other and I think that helps all of us not really accept but maybe deal a little better with the fact that he isn’t physically here but he is spiritually and in my heart. I see people trying to deal with grief and its very hard, but I also see those taking it one day at a time.  I have a family member that lost her grandpa as well and she has to post about it on facebook a lot. Now I know that sounds mean but for me I know I miss him and I love him so why does everyone need to know. Its noones business but mine and my family. I don’t know if that’s mean or not but I don’t need to put it on facebook to know I miss him. It still feels like to me that I will see him this weekend or somethimg even though I know I wont. I do get to see my grandma and I try to call and talk to her and check and see how shes doing. She always tells me shes doing fine but I don’t know if I believe that or not. 

Blue

                When I think of the word blue I think of water, the sky, and, many other things. I like the color blue it’s great. The color blue also makes me think of when people are sad. It reminds me of the expression, “Why so blue?” I have never really understood why the color blue is associated with sadness. 

List of things I'm passionate about

                Family

                My husband

                My dog

                Working out

                Legos

                Reading

                My education

                Myself

                Food

                Water

Legos

Working out

                I don’t remember the exact day that I started working out, but I will tell you I have come a long way. I remember going to the doctor and talking to her about my decision and she was very supportive and excited for me. I told her I would start slow and see how things went from there. I started by doing my own thing a couple times a week. I then had an opportunity to have a free training session so I tried that out, and as hard as it was I wanted more. So my husband and I signed up to be trained four days a week. I think at first I thought we were crazy, but soon after we started I realized it was working and I would reach my goal quicker by continuing on. As my weight started dropping I was gaining not only confidence but muscle too. There were times in the beginning that I didn’t think I would keep going, but with the results I was starting to see and the support of my husband and my family I kept on going. There are still times now a year and a half later that I don’t want to go to the gym, but after I’m there I don’t want to leave. I have a different trainer then I had in the beginning, and I really like him. He pushes my husband and I hard, but only because he says we can handle it. We have been with him for a year and he is not just our trainer, but also our friend. Sometimes during the workout though I don’t feel like he’s being friendly, but I know he’s doing what he’s doing to help us. Since working out I’ve lost 85 pounds, and my husband has lost 120. It’s so amazing to me how different we not only look, but how we both feel. I know I feel much better now than I ever did. I have a new found confidence and I love it. I never wanted to shop much unless I would get big baggy clothes, so now when I shop I by clothes that show off my hard work. 

Video thoughts

             

   I’m not sure what to think about the video saying that stress can be a positive thing. I know that when I’m stressed I don’t feel that it’s very good. It usually makes me feel bad, and I don’t like it. I’m currently really stressed, anxious, and very emotional. I feel run down not only physically but emotionally and I don’t think that’s a good thing. I do have support but I think I’ve fallen so far down this hole that I don’t hear what people are saying. I know things will get better I’m hopeful it will be sooner rather than later. I don’t like feeling this way, and I know I’m the only one that can change it. I do worry about myself and how being stressed affects me. I try to think positively, but right now that’s a hard thing to do.